Courtesy of julsatmidnight
You’re swinging your arms, hear the screams of your two-year-old daughter, smell the burning sauce on the stove, and put your friend on hold on the phone for the third time.
You turn off the stove, reach out to your daughter and keep her busy with a crayon and paper. You then get back to your friend on the phone. The doorbell rings, you put the phone back down, answer the door, and sign for the package from the courier. You shut the door, get back to your friend on the phone and listen to her rants about needing help with a multitude of things. You agree to help her out in spite of having to reschedule a few appointments. Your daughter screams again, so you tell your friend to hold on, rush over to your little girl, and lay her on your lap while talking to your friend who continues to complain and ask for more help with errands. You cannot bring yourself to say ‘no’ to her when you have your things to do. Your daughter keeps screaming and you stroke her hair as you speak to your friend, always nodding and agreeing with what your friend says. You feel bad telling your friend you’re busy. In the meantime, your body’s shaking, your eyes are about to close, you feel like you’re about to vomit, and your breathing is erratic.
What do you see in the picture above? Does it look like a healthy picture to you? How can it be improved?
When you do too much for others and don’t care enough for yourself, you burn-out, become anxious and hyperaroused, and lack the energy to say ‘no’ or ‘enough is enough.’
You worry about getting the approval of others and love helping others, which is a good thing. However, when helping others at the cost of your general health and well-being, then it becomes a problem.
You also have to juggle many things and struggle to maintain a proper life balance of work, rest, and play.
As a result of ignoring yourself, you become highly anxious, constantly thinking about the things you have to do. You ponder the lack of time in which to do those things. Your body shuts down, and you have no time to relax those muscles. Stress builds up, and before you know it, you’re not coping with daily life tasks.
The woman in the scenario needs to learn to say no to her friend. She needs to be assertive. She needs to explain how she’d love to help, but that she has pre-booked appointments for her health. She needs to explain that her daughter needs her attention and to call her back another time.
By lacking assertiveness, this woman had to manage the burning dinner and a screaming child. She felt her body changing when she struggled to breathe normally. She felt tired, lethargic, overwhelmed and anxious because she was doing too much.
Do you ever feel like you’re burnt out and struggle to say no to others to the detriment of your health?
Do you feel anxious, trying to juggle many things in your life?
Do you need to pamper yourself more?
Do you struggle to cope with assertiveness in general?
Overall, health and wellness mean looking after yourself. It means you’re not running around all anxious and lethargic because you’re afraid to say no. It means you don’t want others’ approval to the detriment of your health. It means you need to listen to your personal needs. It’s time you did all those things, so you don’t burn out.
Please leave a comment below about your current struggles. What is bringing you down and impacting your health and wellness?
What frustrates you in life?
If you answered yes to any of those questions above, think about how you could get some professional guidance. Check out my Services page on this website for further information.